The One Christmas Gift You HAVE To Get Your Husband This Year

I’ve been married for almost 5 months, which means I definitely don’t know everything about being a wife or have the key to marriage all figured out.

But hang with me because I think we can talk this one out.

I’m not going to lie to you, I was trying so hard to think of Christmas-y themed blog posts to write, and I was so writers-blocked that all I could think of was a gift round-up for our husbands. I ended up looking up a million posts about the best gifts, gifts for your husband, Christmas gifts for newly-wed couples on a tight budget (pretty specific, huh?), and honestly I just wasn’t feeling it. I tried dang hard too.

But maybe it wasn’t actually a mistake or a complete failure because it made me come to this conclusion: My husband doesn’t actually need or want any gift that badly from me.

You can buy the biggest and best gift for your spouse/boyfriend/etc., and yes, that shows thoughtfulness and care, but gifts are no substitute for genuine love and gratitude for someone, and if you legit don’t have the money for gifts or nice things let me clue you in—YOU DON’T NEED THEM! NOT A SINGLE ONE!

I mean, just look at a few movies and you’ll quickly conclude that many of the biggest gifts are simply cover-ups for a lack of care and attention. Money buys love, right? You give a big gift means you care a lot, right?

I’m not shaming big gifts AT ALL, but just acknowledging that they don’t need to have as much weight as we give them. We don’t need to stress out if we can’t find the perfect one or can’t afford something big.

Because the more I think about it, it’s the care that my husband shows me that warms me inside. It’s the way he watches me closely when he surprises me just to see my eyes light up, or the way he pays attention when I need certain things or offers to massage my feet after a long day. He is patient and loving and considerate, and that is a gift to me all year long.

But even if your man isn’t quite like that, you’ve probably heard The 5 Love Love Languages or any other book or speaker on relationship building/mending say—sometimes you have to put in the work and show the love first in order to receive it back (I am definitely still learning how to do that).

And there is literally no man who isn’t going to relish in being spoiled by your thoughtfulness this Christmas. You can buy him everything he wants, but make sure you shower him in gratitude, compliments (it’s totally cool to get cheesy and go overboard!), and extra bits of thoughtfulness.

The one gift you HAVE to get him is probably the cheapest and easiest of everything on your list this year. I say probably because sometimes we get tired and caught up in Christmas rush and planning and partying and gift buying and you-name-it.

And for me sometimes it’s stress and expectation from work, in-laws, my side hustle—and I need a daily reminder that this holiday represents the biggest gift that we ever received—our precious Jesus—ultimately a gift of love that I can show thankfulness for by simply resting in the glory of it, and then giving it away again.

Especially and specifically giving it away to my husband. He will not only feel loved and special, but also honored and respected because I am submitting to him in this way. I am showing him that he is worthy of my heart, something way way way more valuable than the dollar bills in my wallet.

Okay okay, I really hate those vague blog posts that don’t spill the real meat and value but just work you up and try and sell you the idea without the details…so here’s a few ideas to get you started spoiling your husband (no budget required!)

1. Write him a love letter. And make it a tear-jerker if you’re really going to get serious about it. Need a prompt? Write about the day you met or fell in love.

2. Or, if that seems too hard, grab a small stack of notes and write things you admire, respect, appreciate, and love about him and give him one each day up until Christmas or all at once on Christmas.

3. Take the time to prepare his favorite meal with care for exactly how he likes it, the side dishes, some drinks, and a thoughtful dinner setting.

4. Set a night aside, put your phone away, and ask him what his favorite Christmas movie is. Cuddle with no distractions, or if you are game players, figure out what fun activity he’d like to do while you watch.

5. Take charge in the bedroom (seriously, stop blushing). Wear something fun for him and give him special attention. Or take charge of making it happen several nights in a row or on certain days.

6. This one you can always do: When he gets home from work, stop whatever you are doing, jump up and grab him in your best I missed you! hug, or whatever affection he loves most (this one seems a little innocent and cheesy, but I swear that can really make a person feel special and loved).

Okay, you can figure out the rest and what fits your guy best, but don’t discount the little gestures that help keep your spark alive and are truly some of the biggest gifts your husband can receive.

Trust me, he won’t forget the gift of you and your love anytime soon. They will outlast any Christmas toy you can find on the best list or on sale at Amazon.

Ring Tattoos- Why We Got Them & What to Expect

I’m not usually one to rock the boat, but when my husband suggested we get ring tattoos I fell in love with the idea (and a little scared!).

I really began thinking about it and if it was wrong or necessary. I know that loads of Christians have them, but many other Christians also despise them, so what’s the catch?

I thought about going into the theology and Biblical response to the issue, but I’m not a theologian or ministry major or anything close, so I will let you read those things yourself. I did my own research and praying, and ultimately I came to the conclusion that getting a tattoo is like many other subjects in life, and the real question is WHY are you choosing to do it?

**Disclaimer: I am a firm Bible believer, so when I say “other subjects” I am not talking about topics that the Bible specifically define as wrong or sinful (lying, sex before marriage, divorce, stealing, etc.).

So what is my why? Or, our why? Because ultimately it was a joint decision between my husband and I, and because of that I believe I owed him that much more thoughtfulness into my decision than something that would just affect myself.

Previously, when we were dating, we faced sexual temptations like many people do (just being real, and let’s be honest, everyone faces this) and because of that I felt called for us to either break it off or choose to get married. Might seem blunt, but why else are you together? Anyway, before I get off topic—we felt God calling us to get married, despite our age or other challenging factors, because above all other factors we wanted to glorify Him with our actions.

I knew that I wanted to be with my husband and he felt the same, so there was nothing else to consider that God couldn’t handle (AMEN?!). I believe marriage to be an incredible creation of God and something that I should cherish and shout to the rooftops about in every way that I can (because the world doesn’t do enough of this today!), so when the idea of the tattoos came up, my thought became, what better way to show God we are in this for the long haul and glorify this beautiful relationship we have with him?

Yes, we have rings, and my ring ultimately does that same thing for me, but I wanted something that I would never lose or be without—even when I forget my ring or have it off because I am painting, working out, or whatever else it might be.

I’m not trying to get spiritual or emotional about a little tattoo, but in a way it is. It’s a serious commitment, and in a little way just like marriage. Both things are intended to last forever, and both things I intend to keep that way.

I suppose my point is that no matter the topic or decision, why are you doing it? Is the motivation glorifying or simply self-gratifying? Sometimes self gratification is okay (I mean, I’m dying to get a nice massage over here), but I believe all of life is a reflection of our hearts and how God is working in our lives, and because of that our decisions should clearly show people who we are honoring and what we are living for.

So are tattoos right or wrong? I honestly don’t have a solid, “correct” answer for that, but what I do know is that our reason for getting them was to show God we honor this relationship with our whole selves and we our one. Whether right or wrong, I believe at least our hearts are in the right place and I’m okay with that.

Lastly, if you truly are planning to do this, I thought I would share a little bit of what to expect.

FIrst off, the pain isn’t as bad as I thought. Totally worth it and scaredy-cat approved. It’s not that the pain is very strong, just that it is constant while they are doing the tattoo, so prolonged annoyance I suppose. You will have a soreness directly following and possibly for a couple hours or a day or too, but it seriously not that bad!

One other thing to note: ring/finger tattoos are the worst for fading and needing redone. That was one thing we didn’t know and bummed me out a little, but here’s a tip for you: We found a place that charges a little more up front, but our tattoo artist will do as many touch-ups as we need to keep the tattoo looking fresh and nice because they are aware of the problem! Bingo. Done.

Lastly, I just really love my tattoo and would highly recommend going ahead if you are considering getting one. Don’t psych yourself out. Just make the call. I can’t say for sure, but if you’ve put the thought and consideration into it you aren’t going to regret it!

So would you get a ring tattoo? What would it look like?

Lessons From a Dead Christmas Tree - How We Can Redeem Our Imperfections

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but we got home after getting OUR VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS TREE last weekend, and I started fluffing the branches to fan them out a bit…and what catches me eye but BROWN NEEDLES!

Not a SINGLE pine needle on the inside layers near the trunk was green.

Literally all BROWN! :(

If I wasn’t such a cheap skate and we hadn’t just spent an hour hauling the darn thing out of the car and into the apartment, trying desperately not to let a needle touch our precious landlord’s floor—I would’ve gone right back and bought a new tree!

And I would’ve scoured those darn needles for any hints of dead-ness! Hindsight is 20/20 right?

Well, here we are, with our dead tree that is barely holding onto to his life, and he’s honestly just fooling the outside world, ya know? He’s all green and sprucey on the outside, trying to make our first Christmas extra special, but inside he is a hot mess.

Okay, I promise to stop going on about the tree like it’s our dog or child (just so you know, though, his name is Sprucester), but the point is that this whole tree situation got me to thinking about my own outward appearance vs. inner defects and issues.

So here’s my thought process..

Marriage, especially in the first months or years (or anytime, really) is supposed to look pretty. It’s supposed to work out and you’re supposed to be happy. Maybe I’m just generalizing, but you get married because you’re in love, and then the precedent is that you are supposed to feel so full of love and lust for life >>>>OUTER GREEN LAYER THAT’S SPRUCEY and BEAUTIFUL.

I mean, in the story books the couples don’t get married and then become depressed and frustrated and not sure what life is supposed to look like, but, if I’m being honest, I have felt all of those things since getting married>>>>INNER BROWN, SUFFERING NEEDLES HIDDEN FROM SIGHT.

It hasn’t been long term or because of huge issues. In fact, I have the most loving husband on the earth who constantly showers me with praise and compliments, I have a good job that pays decent, and we are fitting expenses within our budget and having some great times together.

If I just told you those things, I would appear like our sweet Christmas tree that is green and robust and covered with beautiful decorations.

But there’s a lot more to the story. This transition from college-life, living at home with parents, no real expectations/responsibilities to, doing what I believe God was asking my now-husband and I to do, getting married, has been a real challenge.

You go from being sort-of defined by your parents and what they do and where they live to (if you’re like us) moving several hours away in a place where no one knows you and having to make all of those decisions and impressions on your own…it’s HARD.

My husband graduated college and we waited for him to find a job to decided where we would live (since our home towns are hours apart), and then I had to find a job at that point. As an English major without a lot of experience, I had no clue what I was supposed to do.

To shorten this up…I suffered with missing my parents, being afraid I wasn’t going to be able to help support us financially, wallowing in inferiority and shame because I made so much less money than my husband, floating in uncertainty about my role as a wife and if I was doing good enough, and even once I got a job I stressed greatly because I didn’t know what I supposed to be doing there and I deal with sometimes-major social anxiety.

On top of all of this, we hadn’t and really still have not made much community where we live, which equals no one but my husband and sometimes my mom to hear my struggles and listen to me fret about them.

…that seems pretty brown and ugly to me.

Honestly, I’m not so unlike our sad Christmas tree. I have the best and brightest smile (not to brag or anything, just your high school best smile award right here) when I’m at work and around other people, just like the pretty outsides of our tree, but inside sometimes I struggle.

I am a Christian and I love God so much and am working to kill some of these dark things, but they still taunt and tempt us sometimes, am I right?

Christians don’t just magically get to side-step the hard things in life, but I think sometimes we like to pretend we have it all together and don’t want to show people our shady insides.

That Christmas tree sitting in our living room has its share of issues, but that doesn’t disqualify it from bringing us joy and filling our home with love and reminders of Jesus. Yes, the tree isn’t a Christian symbol, but to me it is a daily reminder of the celebration we get to be a part of every single year, and that tree is still loved and doing its part in our home.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

That’s my takeaway from this little analogy in my head: that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US, whether we are struggling or feeling stronger than every in our faiths, CAN AND IS CALLED TO BE REMINDERS OF JESUS.

How cool is that? We don’t have to have it all together, and we shouldn’t be expected to either. God is challenging and growing us constantly, and honestly the devil is attacking us frequently as well, especially if we are really trying to be vessels of faith.

That means we are going to be a little messy sometimes, and I’m challenging myself during these times to, first, make sure I am sharing that with people and being real about my struggles, even if they are ugly, and, second, I am shining a light and loving people and seeking God’s purpose and will even when I don’t feel qualified or successful myself.

I hope that this resonates with you, whether you are a wife or single or going through a trial or not, and maybe just smile and be reminded that imperfection doesn’t equal inability and disqualification.

We are in this dang race till the very end and we are going to be champs for Jesus through thick and thin, ugly and beautiful. Heck yes, I’m in.

How to Use Your Journaling Bible

 

So you bought a journaling Bible. Now what?

There are so many beautiful Bibles out there, whether painted or not, but what we need to be enticed by is what sits inside that precious shell. That's the hard part, though, and often we can give up before we even start because we are intimidated. It could be from the thousands of pages, or maybe its the loads of highlighting, underlining, and beautiful writing that we see by people on Instagram or Pinterest.

But please don't let that stop you! The fact that you want to learn and use your Bible is amazing, and even the tiniest bit of reading can bring you so much closer to God and His word simply with intentionality.

But we've gathered a little bit of help today from one of the sweetest sources on studying your Bible. Jordan Lee, the creator of Soul Scripts, created a list of 9 tips and tools that will help you dig into your Bible and get the most from God's word.

So here we go!

1.  Check Your Heart and Mindset

Basically, make sure you're not just doing it because it's popular or because your Bible looks pretty all marked up.

If you truly want to learn more about God's word and how you can grow from it, then you are doing exactly the right thing. Make sure the focus is not on reading the Bible because you have to or feel like you are supposed to, but rather because you want to for yourself. The rest is honestly a breeze once you have your heart in the right place.

2. Pick a Shorter Book of the Bible and Start in Chapter 1, Verse 1

Jordan says in her post that "There’s no 'perfect place' to start reading because it all ultimately works together and is part of God’s big story." That is maybe the biggest relief ever.

Don't worry about doing this perfectly. JUST DO IT.

As she says, though, don't just read one verse or jump around. The Bible is God's story book for us to learn from, and we cannot glean what we need to from random verses. Start either at the beginning of the Bible, or start in a book you might be interested in and start in the first chapter. Read through that whole chapter and see what you can understand from it.

The next day you can start with the next chapter and so on until you finish that particular book of the Bible. This method gives you focus and a place to go to each day so that you don't feel lost or overwhelmed, and best of all this helps you realize that you can do this! 

3. Dig up a Common Household Pen and Highlighters

This one is pretty common sense, but basically don't feel like you have to have the most amazing tools to journal in your Bible. Our favorite highlighting tools are actually just colored pencils. You have a million options to choose from, and you don't have to worry about them bleeding through the page.

Pen wise, our absolute favorite journaling pens are Pigma Micron pens. There are loads of options, but you can choose whether you'd like straight black, different widths, or a myriad of colors. Our favorite is simply black, 005 width, and highlighting with my colored pencils, but figure out what works for you.

4. Get a Single Column Journaling Bible

These Bibles are absolutely perfect because they have space at the edges of each page that are great for making notes, writing down thoughts, adding in definitions, or referencing other verses or helpful words from devotionals.

We may be biased here, but the most fun journaling Bibles are perfectly customized to you, and we happen to paint some pretty cool custom Journaling Bible covers. You can check them out here!

5. Use Sticky Notes

Once you've been journaling for a little while, you may run over a passage that you already wrote on, so adding in sticky notes gives you unlimited space for new thoughts and notes. You often glean new things each time you read a verse or chapter, so this is perfect to record every piece that you learn.

6. Use Supplemental Resources

The Bible isn't the easiest book in the world, especially starting out, so don't get down if you feel unsure of what it's saying. We’ve linked some helpful websites below that have devotionals, books, and articles to help with you grow your understanding of the Bible and God. Tap the logos to check them out!

And those are just a few! We also love Today in the Word, so check some different ones out and see which one suits your learning style. Jordan also recommends using a study Bible and journaling Bible side by side to get the extra notes and commentary from the study Bible and have room to write down your thoughts and other notes in the journaling Bible.

7. Ask Questions and Write Down Your Answers

Jordan encourages us to ask: "What does this passage/verse teach me about God?” or, “How does this point to His ultimate plan of redemption through Christ?”

Writing down the answers to these questions helps us learn more about God's character and what He wants us to learn about each word and verse.

8. Write and Speak the Word

As Jordan points out, writing out God's word may just be the best way to memorize it and have those verses on our heart so that we can have them ready when we need them. While it may seem silly, simply writing a verse in the margins that stood out to you can be exactly what you need to see, and it is a great way to start journaling because it keeps the focus on God's word.

9. Pray

I can't say it better than she does, so here goes: "Prayer doesn’t have to look fancy or formal or un-smudged. God knows your heart. He will lead and guide it. Pray for His guidance. Pray for Him to reveal Himself to you and open your eyes to what He is teaching you about Himself. Pray for His presence, invite Him in, and for Him to write His Word on your heart."

Journaling helps us learn more about God, and praying to Him for guidance and truth helps reveal even more about His word and how he wants us to live our lives. Keep your journaling time open and conversational so that you are constantly learning and listening to the one who gives us everything :)

If you haven't picked out a Bible for yourself yet, we want to help you with that! If you want a simple leather soft cover journaling Bible, we love this one, or if you want one painted just for you, then check out our shop and message us if you have specific requests! We would love to make your Journaling Bible dreams come to life!